Don't sully the legacy of your program by bringing on Mick Cronin. Leave him here with us.
Dear UNLV,
Hello from Cincinnati. No, not the University of Cincinnati, just the city of Cincinnati. This letter is in response to your apparent interest in noted children's book author and occasional basketball coach Michael Walter "Mick" Cronin. I am writing in hopes of dissuading you from pursuit of him for the head coaching vacancy currently in place at your men's basketball program.
First of all, I want you to know that he will absolutely not bring attractive basketball to Las Vegas.