Slaven Bilic has had a sickness bug for the last few days, so he has been staying away from the training pitch, tanking up on antibiotics and working in the canteen at West Ham’s Rush Green training ground.
On every screen he can see Sky Sports News flashing all day long and cannot help but have his attention pricked when West Ham’s name are announced, especially after his handiwork has turned worrying form into three wins in succession, culminating in an EFL Cup triumph against bitter rivals Chelsea.
Every time he looks up, however, all he sees is a Chelsea fan — shaved head, glasses, grey jacket, blue jeans — striding across the maroon segregation barrier and gesticulating angrily at the inflamed rabble of West Ham supporters, barely held back by neon-coated stewards.