Dr. Elson S. Floyd steps to the podium at a packed Beasley Coliseum.
"Ladies and gentlemen, for the third year running, we've offered the position of commencement speaker to one of our alumni. Since he keeps offering to do it for free, we keep asking him back. Although I could do without him trying to touch my mustache at the pre-graduation mixer. Please welcome to the stage, Class of 2010 graduate, Michael Preston."
/light applause with audible gasps of "Who?"
"Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. It's my distinct honor and pleasure to be here with you today for the third year in a row.