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Stuff and Shenanigans: Mother Nature's Like “Slooooow Doooooown”

Intro:

I believe it was the declaration of independence that said:

A 72% Sober and 100% Accurate Rundown of Absolutely Everything

When in the course of human events it becomes necessary to something something and blah blah, we find it self-evident that one ought to be able to hold two thoughts in one’s head, that:

  1. Washington’s offense looked mildly poo-ish compared to their usual levelling of opponents and
  2. The pace of play — largely dictated deliberately by Arizona — made the score artificially low in a way that overstates the offensive meh-ness.