The breaking news of the morning is that the Redskins have traded Albert Haynesworth to the New England Patriots, in exchange for a 5th round pick in the the 2013 NFL Draft.
When I think about Haynesworth and try to explain to people what the deal is with him, I usually compare him to a child throwing a fit when he didn't get what he wanted (although he was going to get over $100 million in salary over the next few years).
But, that comparison doesn't do him enough justice, so I offer you another.
You buy this muscle car after you see it on television and in the movies. You've been wanting to shake up your garage for a while, and when all your friends and colleagues say, "Oh man, go get that car. It's the best car in it's class," you're sold.
So you pony up and buy it, not caring about price, just excited to have it.
After the initial infatuation period wears off, you begin to realize the flaws: the rear-wheel-drive isn't all it's cracked up to be, all the horses under the hood create horrendous gas-mileage, and the safety features seem to be non-existent.
You soon begin to realize the mistake you made.
You stop driving it for a while, taking hours on the weekend to look under the hood and try and make minor tweaks. But, the problem isn't wiring or parts--the problems are internal and would require a total overhaul.
You begin shopping the car around in the local papers, on telephone polls, and on the internet, trying to get some of the value you originally paid. However, people out there now know of the problems with this model and stay away.
Soon, you just put the car in the garage and forget about it: you go back to your trustworthy Volkswagen or Toyota which has always been there for you.
Winter passes (as if you were going to drive your RWD car in the snow) and spring comes around. Your hope of getting rid of your impulsive mistake is rekindled.
People out there remember seeing your ads in the past, but now realize you've changed your asking price. Now, its "$$, or best offer." After a year of headaches, they realize you've reached your breaking point.
Your phone rings. It's your boss calling about the car he hasn't seen in the parking lot for a while. He knows you've been wanting to sell it, and wondered if it was still available.
"Sure is," you say, wondering why your boss wants to add another high-profile car to his current fleet. But then you realize your boss is good at his job because he has the ability to bring together all sorts of people, all different kinds of personalities, and make them run like a fine-oiled machine.
"How does 15k sound?" says your boss, as you quickly remember the 60k you paid for it a year ago.
You hesitate, thinking out loud to stall. Part of you wants to laugh at the offer, but the intelligent part of you wins and says, "You got a deal."
Your headaches have come to an end, and your plan is to squeeze every little bit out of that 15k.
So long Fat Albert.
(Jonathan Wigginton is the Chat Sports Senior Writer for the Washington Redskins)
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