Editor’s Note: This is satire. Although the story is based upon real-life events, many of the accounts in this series are not real and should not be treated as such.
If you get on Interstate 40 headed west from Raleigh, leaving the sprawling metropolis of the capital of North Carolina behind, maneuvering around the beltway to avoid the carpetbaggers in the suburbs, and make your way through the seemingly never-ending rows of pine trees, you’ll wind your way through the middle of the Tarheel State, past the Waffle Houses, past the roadside motels, and past the ubiquitous golden arches towering over the highway, eventually ending up in a sleepy little town called Winston-Salem.