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There Is a New Contender For Mascot Who Will Swallow Your Soul

After being smoked by the South Cackalacky Game Penises, absolutely none of us wants to talk about the Vanderbilt Commodores team of Feet Ball. Well, Tom does, but only to point out how horrible Mason has done against good teams.

No worries. I am here to save you from the nightmare that is the 2018 Het-Wetting Football Season, and replace it with a much worse nightmare: Gritty.

Today, the Philadelphia Flyers, for no reason whatsoever, decided to replace their decades old mascot of Bob Clarke’s missing teeth with an ayahuasca golem of the brief period from 1972-1973 when Jim Henson was an unwitting participant in Project Ultra.