Before we begin, know that every keystroke hurts.
Of course, Thanksgiving itself can often be painful. Emotionally, psychologically, cognitively dissonant-ly, gut-rupturing-ly, and in certain circumstances, physically. As a child, all holiday meals were at my house, and before my mother learned I could cook, all holidays were like having a live panther in the house. Get close to it and you’re taking your life in your own hands. Come into the kitchen with anything short of, “It smells wonderful; can I wash all the dishes in perpetuity, and also you are breathtaking, and look at least 10 years younger than whatever your current age is, and also, may I play this harp solo for you?