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Mormon fast and testimony meeting is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get

It was fast and testimony meeting in my ward last Sunday, as it was in every other Mormon ward, branch and huddle in the entire world.

For those unfamiliar with Mormon ways, the first Sunday of every month is usually open-mic time. Instead of a sermon or talks, members of the congregation get up as the mood suits them and offer their completely uncorrelated testimonies on, well, anything.

The generally accepted theme of a testimony is what the gospel means to the speaker. Most of the time, that’s what happens. Occasionally, though, we get official reminders that it should really have something to do with the Lord.