We have reached the stage of the 2018 World Cup qualifiers when it all feels like a local long distance charity race. The favourites, Brazil, crossed the line ages ago; Iran and Japan joined them soon after; we've politely applauded Mexico, Belgium, South Korea and Saudi Arabia and now we're anxiously looking down the track wondering where everyone else has gone.
Spain are striding effortlessly towards us; Costa Rica, grinning broadly, are right behind them. And, look... there's England, clad in ludicrous headphones and prohibitively expensive kit, clutching their side and weeping as they just try to put one foot in front of the other.