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We’re Suing Everybody

The courts should be a last resort to resolve a dispute, or to redress an injury. It is not lightly that we here at Pension Plan Puppets Kitten Ranch and Manufacturing take legal recourse, but recent events have left us no choice.

Our full statement of claim is below. We’ll see you in court.

PENSION PLAN PUPPETS BLOGGING AND MANUFACTURING INC.

TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS, KYLE DUBAS, WILLIAM NYLANDER ET AL.

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1. We, the plaintiffs, allege that the defendants have caused us undue

2. The Toronto Maple Leafs hockey club (“the team”) and their General

(“the player”) and agent Lewis Gross (“the agent”) have conspired to

3.