Sportsnet ran an article talking to Lou Lamoriello about how he feels about the Maple Leafs as a franchise in the wake of the John Tavares signing, and the headline alone was enough to make me snort-laugh into my drink.
When it comes to them, I hope they enjoy all the success in the world … except when they play the New York Islanders.
While these Lamoriello quotes on how the Maple Leafs are doing aren’t interesting in and of themselves—I would expect nothing less from the man who ran this hockey franchise with a leak policy straight off a WWII propaganda poster—there’s something about the carefully considered politesse of these replies that also makes me imagine activities Lou might have been doing while giving this interview:
- Sharpening a comically large knife
- Looking the interviewer dead in the eye while making a dismissive wanking motion
- Eating a cannoli, again while maintaining full and unnerving eye contact
- Tapping the famed Loubar against his palm
- Sleeping.