I’m too old to ever understand TikTok. To the best of my knowledge, it’s some alchemy of new school-ish Vine humor and kids coming up with dances, I think? Like I said, I’m too old. The most exciting thing to happen to me this year before the world veered down the apocalypse path was taking the sum from my paid-out vacation days and putting them toward my car payment. On quarantine nights, when people are tweeting about Instagram live DJ battles, I’m eating cereal and trying to figure out if I’ve consumed enough fiber that day.
All of this is to say I believe I’m the perfect person to be ranking NBA players and their TikTok accounts.