Major touchbacks and minor touchbacks. The double-forward pass. One-, two- and three-point conversions. Beer snakes. Quarrelsome quarterbacks. A Mumme (Dallas Renegades offensive coordinator Hal) and a Pharaoh (Tampa Bay Vipers tight end Pharoah McKever). A weekly winners’ share. Ten-minute halftimes. Last, and probably least: Team Nine.
Welcome to the XFL.
Last weekend, as the latest objection to “Football should only be played in months ending in -ber” reached the midpoint of its inaugural 10-game season, I watched all four XFL offerings so you wouldn’t have to. I discovered contests that blissfully end in three hours or less.