You can catch ‘em’, but you sure as hell can’t kill ‘em.
Despite the nigh-unanimous belief among the millennial public that Pokémon — the infamous, billion-dollar, seizure-inducing phenomenon — was dead and buried in the early 2000’s along with Smash Mouth, olestra, and the federal budget surplus, the pocket monster cash-cow has inexplicably leaped right out of the grave like so many Dengars.
Yes, welcome to Pokémon Go, the GPS-based augmented reality game that you are statistically likely to be playing right now as you read this.
The game is a high-grade speedball of the nostalgic and the obsessive, a mystifying jolt not unlike the kind felt by feverish sports memorabilia collectors, except that you can find plenty of rare items just by puttering around in the park, with zero risk of O.