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Eat your heart out, Hugh Jackman! A no-no near miss has made Rangers' long shot Bartolo Colon 'the' attraction

On the short list of feel-good stories in the Rangers' Godforsaken start, we have the parents who flew from Honolulu on 15 minutes' notice to see their son's big league debut, and a 44-year-old social media sensation.

Unless the Rangers actually win a few games or take Isiah Kiner-Falefa's mom and dad on the road, Bartolo Colon appears to be the only sustainable option.

The reason for bringing this up now is that there seems to be some question as to whether Colon has aced the rotation. Even after nearly no-hitting the Astros and outpitching anyone within a 200-mile radius of the Globe so far this season.