Bartolo Colon failed Colby Lewis lesson No. 1: When you inevitably give up a home run —and,as an old ass man, you definitely will — make sure no one is on base (though his second home run allowed was a solo dong that surely made Colby take a sip of his Coors and nod).
Jordan Zimmermann of the Tigers was a real teacher’s pet tonight, however.
Despite pitching the only complete game the Rangers will likely ever have for maybe the rest of time, Colon was the hard luck loser mostly because of one ill fated pitch with a runner on base in the bottom of the second inning.