The new season is in full swing and yet, as always, some things never change. Maryland has Benjamin Buttoned the CFB season yet again, dragging what we thought was a wrinkly old corpse onto the field and dropping peak Brad Pitt dimples on the poor Howard Bisons to extinction-level effect. We should have warned them - never get involved in a land war in Asia and never play Maryland week 1. Would that it were so simple.
But we’re fully ALIGNED and 1-0, and this isn’t Rivalry Week, so let’s dispatch with the Testudo Terror and it’s annual visit to drop a deuce on my medulla oblongata amygdala.