Time is of the essence in Austin. We're just here to help.
The college football world was rocked amused today by the news that Texas Athletic Director Steve Patterson has been shitcanned for being too arrogant even for Texas. And while the collective sigh of relief coming from the majority of fans and boosters out of Austin is not quite enough to dampen the glee felt by the rest of country, the fact remains that a replacement will need to be named as soon as possible, preferably one with some grit and gumption. We have compiled what we feel is a completely appropriate and reasonable list, from A to Z, because hey--You're Texas By God.