This photo from the SI Vault has us speculatin'
Hungry for a legitimate third-party choice, millions of Americans flock to the HATERZ ticket and elect President Stephen Orr Spurrier and Vice President David Wannstedt in a shocking and sweeping show of reform. Spurrier (code name SPOTUS, of course) vetoes every partisan bill that comes across his desk, including most menus for foreign state dinners, while the power of the VP's soup strainer ushers in an unprecedented wave of mustachioed benevolence throughout the world, encouraging Saddam Hussein to voluntarily surrender and uniting the globe in a frenzy of facial hair growth.