[KEYTAR SQUEALS] We're five weeks from football, motherscratchers. Let's kick this pig in the dick.
UNRANKED? LET'S GET UNHINGED. The first Coaches' Poll dropped yesterday because why the hell not. It's still July after all, and these egomaniac football sociopaths have nothing better to do. Even better? They usually have some pimple-faced boot-licking SID fill these out. These guys can barely put together an objective assessment of their own teams at this juncture let alone "LSU at No. 13 - I think JaMarcus Russell comes into his own in 2015".
It's all just news cycle fodder and it is imperative that you get enraged and indignant.