We're maximizing our fantasy teams' potential.
We heard something about fantasy football, but we feel that a true fantasy draft would not harbor the restrictions found under the current system. As free thinkers, we require fewer confines in order to justify using the "fantasy" tag in something as serious as a football draft. As such, here's our lightning-round 2015 Super Fantasy Football Draft:
ROUND 1-WHATEVER
Rush: Hannibal Lecter. Killer instinct. Always hungry for a win. Stays poised in confinement.
Chuck: BA Baracus. Strength, speed, technical knowledge. Concerned that aggression towards fools may lead to suspension.