Your annual serious preview for the serious fan. Seriously.
Yeah, my wife wants me to slim down. She says I'm a public embarrassment, which is an assessment the Knoxville Police Department agreed with when they arrested me on July 1. My point is this: I want everyone to know I was really the first fan in line outside of Neyland Stadium for that new Nike gear. I was there at midnight, ready to spend my hard earned dollars. But apparently KPD frowned upon me being there while naked, as the good Lord made me. What was I supposed to do?