In some bizarre universe, I picture John Mozeliak as the Hugh Hefner of GMs, strolling around in a silk Cardinal-red robe, flanked by his equivalent to playmates: exceptional outfielders.
Ordinary GMs will gawk as Mo shuttles across a sheepskin rug with a sheepish grin, joined by Jason Heyward and Matt Holliday and Stephen Piscotty and Randal Grichuk and Jon Jay.
“Man,” one GM tells another. “I’d love to have even just one of them.”
There will be a day when all the Cardinals outfielders are healthy, perhaps as soon as the middle of the month, and suddenly everyone in Cardinals Nation will feel like silk-robe Mo — overwhelmed by outfield excess.