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These fans don’t just get their ticket punched, but might get something different punched

Related Topics: George Orwell

What do you get when you combine soccer, George Orwell and animal control?

Answer: CA Tigre, a first-division team in Argentina that floated an ill-fated plan to ferret out hooligans at the gate by surgically implanting microchips into fans’ bodies.

But why stop there? License tags and rabies shots for everybody!

Headlines

• At TheOnion.com: “MLB mascots union demands more bald fans to playfully tease between innings.”

• At TheKicker.com: “Browns keep NFL in suspense, refuse to accept the results of season.”

Robin Hoodlum

A massive attack by hackers shut down Twitter, Spotify, Netflix and a bunch of other websites Friday, but the news wasn’t all bad.