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Next time hold the thermometer next to the nearest light bulb

Talk about getting red-carded during injury time.

An overzealous soccer fan feigned an emergency illness in hopes of getting himself admitted to a hospital in Crotone, Italy, so he could get an upper-floor room so he could look down on the sold-out Juventus-Crotone match at the stadium next door.

ER workers quickly diagnosed the ruse and gave him the boot.

Headlines

• At SportsPickle.com: “SEAL Team 6 rescues Joe Thomas from Browns in daring midnight raid.”

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