Seattle attempted to claim former Browns QB Connor Shaw off waivers on Friday.
Wanted: Award-winning Seattle-based organization seeking professional football player to, hopefully, not play football. Must be willing to wear a head-set and hold a clipboard while staring meaningfully into the distance. Duties include donning a helmet in case of emergency and not throwing interceptions. Applicants must be able to demonstrate the ability to hold onto a football while being hit by the human equivalent of an accelerating all-terrain vehicle. Salary: up to $1,500,000 per year DOE. Height not an issue.
If you've always wanted to hand a football off to Thomas Rawls, there's never been a better opportunity than now.