PORTLAND – So, Tackle Jon Ryan Night. This is a real thing. Or it could be a real thing, anyway, maybe this summer.
If you’re under the age of 12, and if you’re in Portland on the right night, you could find yourself in the outfield at a Portland Pickles baseball game, chasing the team’s new minority owner, who just so happens to be Jon Ryan, the Seahawks’ ginger-coiffed punter.
What happens, you know, if Jon Ryan gets caught by this sugar-rushed mob? Might he follow the example of former teammate Marshawn Lynch, who pancaked eager children at his youth camp?