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Which New Mariner Hitter Are You?

On September 30, 2018, left fielder Cameron Maybin caught a fly ball at Safeco Field, securing the 89th win for the 2018 Seattle Mariners and officially ending their season. Like Maybin, a large portion of that team is now playing elsewhere, retired, or unemployed (sign Denard Span, you cowards).

The venerable presences of Robinson Canó and Nelson Cruz are gone from the middle of the order, residing now in Queens and Minnesota, respectively. Mike Zunino’s frequent strikeouts and cathartic home runs have moved to Tampa along with jubilant outfielder Guillermo Heredia.