Anyone. Literally anyone.
Look at all these choices! So many! So many choices! So many choices with which to spend their large amounts of money!
Nelson Cruz (hello)
Marcell Ozuna
Trevor Bauer
Rick Porcello
Jackie Bradley Jr.
Jonathan Schoop
Kolten Wong
Justin Turner
Maikel Franco
Kevin Pillar
Mitch Moreland (do not do this)
Tyler Anderson
Brad Miller (hello)
Tyler Clippard
Trevor Rosenthal
Rich Hill
Jedd Gyorko
Jake McGee
Mike Fiers
Jason Kipnis
Brett Gardner (still no)
Alex Colomé (hello)
Brett Anderson
Tommy Hunter
Taijuan Walker (hello)
Mikey Ajeto
Jake Arrieta
Joakim Soria
Adam Duvall
Tommy Milone (hello)
Justin Wilson
Yadier Molina
Matthew Roberson
Trevor Cahill
Tyler Flowers
Oliver Pérez
Renato Núñez
Shane Greene
Chaz Roe
Grant Bronsdon
Ryan Tepera
James Paxton (hello)
Nick Tropeano
C.