I’ve watched enough Mariners games that my brain has developed a subconscious heuristic for creating expectations of each game.
First - who are the Mariners playing?
Is it the Angels? Mike Trout will do a bunch of stuff, Albert Pujols will play like he’s still good, Kole Calhoun will do something to piss everyone off, but the Mariners might still end up winning, because the Angels are almost as embarrassing as the Mariners.
Is it the White Sox? The Mariners will be violently eviscerated.