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Sideline Chatter: Note to self: Don’t book any massages from Thanos

Astros shortstop Carlos Correa says he broke a rib while getting a home massage, landing him on the injured list for at least three weeks.

That’s what you call getting rubbed the wrong way.

Headlines

• At TheOnion.com: “Blues forced to forfeit Stanley Cup after exhausting annual travel budget.”

• In the New York Daily News: “Lakers’ clown car could drive free agents to Knicks.”

Tweet of the Week

The Mariners — who’ve given up a whopping 55 unearned runs per game this season — hosted Star Wars Fireworks Night on Friday.