First, some background for the washed and/or not chronically online: Your “hear me out” person is a nontraditional crush or being you find attractive. Examples of this genre include Steve Buscemi, Ludwig II of Bavaria, the rabbit cop from Zootopia, the fox Robin Hood, etc. This concept has been around for a long time (ask your own site manager about her high school crush on Carl Sagan. Billions and billions.), but has been re-energized lately by a TikTok trend that involves cake. You can read more about it here, if you really want to.
For our Mariners version, the key here is that this player should be reasonably available—but not readily desirable.