Look, I’ve been joking about CHAOS BALL since April, but at this point I’m sort of out of jokes and more considering whether there’s a way to invest in Chaos Ball as Bitcoin, because the Mariners are headed to the moon, baby. Did they have any business winning this game? Possibly, no! Probably, even! Their starter didn’t have his good stuff and got bounced in the fourth, while Oakland had their All-Star on the mound. The offense was powered by three Mitch Hanigers in a trenchcoat. The home plate area at T-Mobile park needs to be swept for vengeful ghosts mad about housing prices in Oakland.
Mitch Haniger almost defeats Oakland Athletics, gets helping hand from Chaos Ball, Mariners win 5-4
