Mariners try to get out of work quick on a Friday, fail, lose 6-2

same dudeIt’s a beautiful Friday morning in the Pacific Northwest. You get to work a little early for a meeting with a co-worker on the East Coast, which means you should get off relatively early, too. You might have an opportunity to take advantage of the late-spring sun after you get to leave the beige office building where you have decided to work, in order to earn enough money to survive late-stage capitalism.

Your work day gets off to a pleasing start, despite tripping and eating shit immediately upon walking into the building - your boss is in a good mood and cracks some jokes with you as you walk in, and your favorite new co-worker leapt through the door with bagels for breakfast. The…