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Mariners test limits of “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”, lose to Josh Jung and the Rangers 5-0

The Mariners are going to make the playoffs, but they’re going to make you suffer first.

Tonight’s game was another in a string of largely unwatchable baseball games played by the Mariners over the past week in which their magic number went down due to an Orioles loss, proving that simply coming home to the “Electric Factory” doesn’t solve the offensive ills plaguing this team. As the saying goes, wherever you go, there you (still) are.

The depleted Mariners lineup—featuring Eugenio Suárez as the nine-fingered man, Cal Raleigh with one working thumb, and like schoolchildren and video games, there’s no Julio for us until the weekend—couldn’t get anything going against a crew of relievers and Triple-A starters in what was supposed to be their easiest win of this series.