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Mariners play Rockies for some reason, don't lose, I guess

Wooooo dingers!!! Woo baseball! Woo wait don't look at your TV schedule tomorrow

Actually, no, that's not quite right. The Marineros won a baseball game, and the very sad thing is that after an incredibly disappointing 2015 season that saw a baseball team ruin a bunch of prognosticators predictions towards a freaking joke of a year, they couldn't actually just plaster another letter on their jersey to pretend that they didn't own a .483 record on their way to the playoffs. And you'd be mistaken for confusing that after watching this here highlight:

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