Earlier today, in celebration of Bark at the Park Night, we published an article with pictures of our pets, comparing them to each Mariner. That is a much more enjoyable read than this one, and you should probably go read it, if you haven’t, as a palate cleanser for this absolute howler of a game.
To paraphrase Tolstoy, every Mariners loss is alike, but also unhappy in its own way. Chris Flexen starts, it feels like, are especially alike-unhappy: the Mariners have scored a total of five runs over Chris Flexen’s six starts, and tonight marked the fourth time they’ve scored nothing for him.