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Mariners give fans’ nerves a break, hit into every double play in existence to end game quickly and quietly

For as thrilling/exciting/fun as some previous games have been, today was...not that. To be fair, things could have gone much worse. Felix Hernandez had a miserable first inning in which he threw 31 pitches and faced eight batters, thanks to a couple first-pitch swings from the Aggro A’s. In retrospect, it was sort of amazing that the A’s only walked away with four runs in that inning, and that would be the only runs they scored all day on a particularly shrill and unpleasant day in the Coliseum.

There will be a lot of talk about the idea of the Opener after today, and I encourage you to read John’s piece on it if you haven’t.