I can think of few outcomes as certain as the Mariners losing this game. In the first inning Fangraphs had us pegged for a win expectancy of ~38%. We hadn’t even started playing and we had already lost.
Fresh off a no-hitter from a game started by Aaron Sanchez, who—contrary to popular opinion—is a baseball player, the hapless, silly, woe-begone M’s were faced with Justin Verlander and the Monstars of baseball. The MonStros, if you will (trademark pending). They countered with a baseball player named Tommy and opened with another one named Sam.