This you know, and this you were--I'm sure it's safe to say--kind of expecting, despite the fact that Felix was set to take the mound against a team which he always seems to grind into dust. Except you and I both know what year it is.
The Mariners lost today because they are bad, but they also lost because they did really stupid things in addition to their particular bad-having-ness. Like, they did mind-numbingly, earth-shattering just absolutely...awful things, things you shouldn't even do on rookie mode with a low gravity setting while playing a baseball video game.