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Juggernaut Mariners crush Pirates under muddy boot, 4-1

Today I went and watched Jerry Dipoto talk for two hours about the future of the Mariners. Please go read that, and then come back to this recap, which will be, regrettably, shorter, but will lean on things from that article.

No, I mean it. Go read it. I’m going to listen to Lizzo’s Truth Hurts, which is Cole Tucker’s walkup song, and dream about Cole Tucker as a Seattle Mariner.

(Did you read it? Are you fibbing? You better not be. Every time an LL reader tells a fib someone starts the wave at a ballpark.