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James Paxton to 10-Day DL, Hellfire Settles Over City of Seattle

In a season that’s been plagued by injuries, losing streaks, uneven offensive performances, shoddy pitching, and getting curb-stomped by most of the AL West, Mariners fans had one bright spot: our shining ace, James Paxton. Big Nasty, The Nasty Canadian, Big Maple—we had fun, didn’t we? Now Paxton is headed to the 10-day DL with an ominous-sounding “forearm strain” and Mariners fans are left to resume their class at the Learning Annex titled “At Least We’ll All Die Soon Anyway.”

How good has James Paxton been? He’s been the second-most valuable pitcher in all of baseball by fWAR.