A converted reliever who probably has that rocket-propelled punch thing from Pacific Rim installed in his arm
Fun news: we are just a few days away from the draft, meaning we'll soon have a surefire draft pick and I won't have to keep making you fall in love with a new prospect each week.
But hey, falling in love with prospects never hurt anyone, as long as we're willing to forget that Dustin Ackley, Justin Smoak, Jesus Montero, Danny Hultzen, Ryan Anderson, and the rest of the gang never happened.