Back to the Seattle Mariners Newsfeed

Dee Gordon Cements Legacy as Best Center Fielder in MLB History, Mariners Win

FADE IN:

UNDERGROUND LABORATORY - NIGHT

SCIENTIST pours over a lab bench, sweating as they lift a beaker and, hand shaking, attempt to steadily pour its contents into another beaker.

LOUD BANGING NOISE

JERRY DIPOTO: Bursts through door, a maniacal and slightly crazed gleam in his eyes.

SCIENTIST: Alarmed, spills beaker all over own arm. Screams as skin begins to sizzle.

JERRY: I’ve just had a phenomenal idea. You’re going to love this one!

SCIENTIST: Tries to stifle own screams, picks up clean-up kit from under bench.