I don’t know about you, but I sure would like it if the Seattle Mariners won their baseball game tonight. It’d be real neat if they could put a little win streak together, maybe at the same time as the Oakland A’s collapse into a sinkhole, then make the playoffs, get hot, win their first championship, and finally return the unrequited love I’ve shown them for the entirety of my existence.
Is that too much to ask?
Of course, the first domino in that faltering Rube Goldberg machine of a plan is to win tonight.