I did not watch the Mariners play the Orioles tonight. For those who did, you are much, much braver than I. [Ed. note: for those of us who did, I think we can all agree: Nelson Cruz is wonderful and should be extended, Denard Span deserves much better than this sad-sack offense, and Mitch Haniger makes the trains run on time. That being said, that fifth inning was full-on clownshoes and against any team that is not one of the historically worst teams in all of baseball, ever, that is a death knell. But I digress.
41 things better than watching the Mariners play the 41-win Orioles
