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#HotSharksTakes: Machinations, not misfortune at heart of Sharks, Penguins injury woes

Editor’s Note: Occasionally, with inspiration from Andrew Sharp’s excellent #HotSportsTakes series at Grantland (R.I.P.), we will attempt to write the worst Sharks column on the internet. This is satire (or an attempt, at least), and should not be taken seriously. Today’s topic: devastating injuries to the reigning Stanley Cup finalists.

PITTSBURGH — An errant shot hits a player in the head. An awkward collision causes a star to miss significant time. A long playoff run now looks like it could be considerably shorter.

Sharks fans, stop me if you’ve seen this movie before.