It’s raining. It has always been raining. The fake news about the drought was a conspiracy. It will never not rain. We will all wash away in a river of rain and regret.
Except, waaaaaait a sec, what’s this? It’s news about the Giants reporting to spring training! It’s in five weeks. Five weeks! Then we can set the rain on fire. Don’t laugh: I have a plan.
Pitchers and catchers will report to spring training for the Giants on February 14:
The first workout for the full squad will be Feb. 17th. Big deal, you say.