You’ve carefully screened the standings. You’ve subjected the upcoming schedule to a battery of tests. You’ve palpated the playoff odds reports. And while you still haven’t received a definitive diagnosis, the truth is starting to sink in: Barring a baseball miracle, your beloved Pittsburgh Pirates, who clinched a playoff spot last night, are less than two weeks away from facing neckbearded, nigh-unbeatable Cubs ace Jake Arrieta in the do-or-die NL wild-card game.
Given Arrieta’s sub-1.00 ERA over his past 18 starts — 16 of which the Cubs have won — “do” isn’t looking that likely. You’re understandably devastated.